Nefarious Expectations: how to be defeated

Insecurity also comes in the form of disillusionment. The following are examples of disillusionment, complaints with subsequent reactions:

Complaint: He doesn’t talk to me.
Reaction: I’ll nag until he does talk.

C: My life is stressful.
R: I will let stress control my quality of life.

C: He didn’t do the laundry like I asked him to.
R: I’m going to tell him he’s lazy and no good.

C: She won’t stop nagging me.
R: I’ll make her wish she hadn’t nagged me.

C: I didn’t get the job.
R: I probably won’t get the next job I want.

C: I told him how I felt; he said he doesn’t care.
R: I must not be loveable.

C: They said my idea wasn’t good enough.
R: I have no talent.

The above statements sound as if they are laced with disappointment, frustration, and resentment, because the expectation of the person did not match up with reality; they were not mentally or emotionally prepared for what life might bring them. Now I’m not saying that the complaints were not valid. No one likes to feel disrespected, devalued, or stressed out; however, there will come a time when things won’t go the way we would like for them, too.

In the above examples, these people were not prepared for the possibility that things would not go their way and since it is a common thinking mistake for all people who believe that things better go my way or else they were overwhelmed with self-defeating thoughts — which results in self-defeating emotions and then self-defeating behaviors. This chapter is about how to face life with realistic expectations, so that self-defeat does not happen to you.

Are you ready to learn more about how to align expectations with reality to achieve a greater sense of calm, better relationships, and goal success? Read on to learn more about how expectations and reality meet in the middle.